What is flurient and why do gobblers love it so much?

What is flurient and why do gobblers love it so much?

Fizzy, fabulous flurient* is a fruity beverage infused with a mild strain of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) from the buds of the cannabis plant. Formulated from cannabinoids that magnify your senses and fire your imagination, flurient is the perfect companion to a session in your Cocoon watching YouStar.
The colours of the Famers’ fashions seem so much more vivid, their dramas become more distressing and their dilemmas more disturbing. The elaborate sets seem alive and enveloping, and every moment is more momentous; the hilarious becomes hysterical, the bitchiness and bastardry are even funnier, and those fleeting seconds of tenderness seem achingly real and beautiful.
Images, ideas, words and feelings flutter in and out of your dazzled mind and are gone in a fraction, and you’re left happy, fulfilled, yet hungry for more. Go on, have a flurient. Have three. And get into your Cocoon, lay back and soak in the Fame. That’s the taste of Freedom.
*Flurient is the drink of the gobblers in my book The Psyman. To find out what it really does to people, read the book. Find it at nickbruechle.com today.

Self Publishing: What I’ve Learned.

I always thought that the hard part of being an author was writing a book. Turns out that was the easy part. The hard part is getting people to read it.

Here’s my tale – maybe what I’ve learned can help you.

Part 1 – The Agent

When I finished the first draft of my first book, I had this idea that I would go the traditional route: find an agent, get a publisher, sit back and watch the royalties roll in. Easy.

So I made a spreadsheet of agents in Australia, and I sent my manuscript to the name at the top of the list. Incredibly, a couple of months later they got in touch – they loved the manuscript, and wanted to represent me. There followed a fair bit of back and forth, in which my agent gave me a lot of great advice and guidance, which led to significant rewriting. And then we were off to the publishers. For three years.Without success. The rejections were all very encouraging and apologetic – mostly they referred to the fact that the publishing industry is in crisis, and that publishers don’t like to take risks on unknown writers (see my thoughts on that here) – but they were rejections nonetheless.

Eventually my agent had exhausted all her ideas, and we parted company friends. I still owe her a lot for her time, patience and brilliant advice.

Part 2 – The Assisted Self Publisher

By this time I had another book finished, with a third on the way, but I had lost several years. I wanted to get to market ASAP. I didn’t have the confidence to leap straight into self-publishing myself, so I took the next best route – I found an Assisted Self Publishing company. This turned out to be a great idea.

Ben Hourigan, the owner of Hourigan & Co, turns out to be a very helpful, smart and encouraging person, and he put me on the road to self-publishing. I wanted to learn all about how it’s done by going through the process with my second book, which I really like but I must also admit is not my strongest work. I figured once I had the whole thing down pat, I would hit the market with my first book, which is, if I say so myself, a beauty.

So, working with Ben and his team we got a website designed and built by the talented Dannielle Espagne at Leap Creative, and a cover design created by Andrew Brown at Ardel Media.Working with both these people was an absolute pleasure, and Andrew’s comprehensive briefing process leads to a beautifully designed high impact cover.

Next came the edit. My first book to be published, The Reprint, was the second I wrote, and  by the time I started it I had learned a lot about writing, so the editing process was quite easy. But Ben and his editor, Justin Evans, put a fair amount of work into it and the result was unquestionably an improved book. It costs good money, but it’s worth it.

Part 3 – To Market

So then off we went to market. Ben arranged for artwork to be done, and ebook and Print on Demand copies were made available through Createspace, Amazon and several other online sales sources. In the meantime, Ben introduced me to Vellum, and using this, and InDesign, I was able to create the requisite files to design and create a couple of other books of short stories, which I put on the market quickly and easily. I made mistakes but I have been able to correct them, and the result is that I have three books of short stories and one novel available on my website to date.

Part 4 – What I’ve learned

Finding an assisted self-publisher you can trust is a terrific approach.I trust Ben and his team, but I have also gained the confidence to do a little of the design and artwork myself. However when it comes to cover design for serious works, and especially to editing, you simply must place yourself in the hands of a professional. For my money, Hourigan & Co, fit the bill, but you may want to seek out others.

The biggest thing I’ve learned, though, is just how hard it is to market yourself and your books, even with talented folks like Ben and his team behind you. It’s a tough slog, and I am finding it hard even to give books away, let alone sell any. I’ll persevere, because I believe in my writing and in myself, and because I am growing thicker skin every day.

If you choose to do the same, I wish you every success.

 

Coming soon – a quiver of surf stories!

Coming soon – a quiver of surf stories!

The Surfer Alone cover small

Readers seem to have liked ‘Bad Magic’ – a surf story set in Bali that appeared on baliwaves.com and the Surfin Perth page on Facebook, so I have started putting together a volume of exclusively surf stories.

From funny adventures to uplifting stories and a few excursions into the weird, The Surfer Alone covers every crazy aspect of the surfer’s life.

Keep an eye out – these stories will be available soon!

Crime’s against the apostrophe.

Crime’s against the apostrophe.

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Nothing gets grammar nazis tearing their hair out and grinding their teeth faster, more often or more intensely than a misplaced apostrophe. It’s the punctuational equivalent of dragging one’s fingers down a blackboard, or reading anything by e. e. cummings.

There are even websites devoted to it, such as ApostropheCatastrophes, which is counterbalanced by the anarchic, if slightly satirical, KillTheApostrophe.

And I confess, for years – decades even – I was one of the fiercest defenders of the apostrophe. In particular, my outrage at seeing a plural arbitrarily and erroneously transformed into a possessive was instant and extreme.My blood boiled and my heckles prickled. Possessives without apostrophes or elided words with them misplaced just made me sad.

But these days I’m inclined to be a little more relaxed about it. Because somewhere along the line, I read a piece that explained that the original purpose of the apostrophe was indeed to denote a plural where the simple addition of an s might just have altered the pronunciation, or even just looked funny. Think potatos and tomatos, or whys and hows. In some ways, it makes sense to drop in an easy apostrophe, rather than invent a whole new spelling convention, or get used to the grating sound the pluralised word makes in your mind.

And when you learn that the possessive function of the apostrophe didn’t come along until much later, it’s hard to be too bloody-minded about its current use.

I still feel physically ill when I see some crimes against the apostrophe, but I try to chill out about it. After all, the language change’s all the time, doesnt it?

If you love it, I’m listening…

If you love it, I’m listening…

My Dad has always said to me, ‘don’t pay any more attention to the people that praise you than you would to the people that bring you down.’ Perhaps he is right. As writers, the best thing we can do is listen to our own hearts, and don’t let anyone else judge whether what we have created is worthy of existence.

But there’s a little problem in that, and it’s called human nature.

I don’t know about you, dear reader who’s a writer, but when someone acclaims me as a genius, or tells me that my creation is perhaps the most brilliant piece of art since Michelangelo chipped away at a marble block for three years (okay that’s never happened, but just go with it), my first reaction is to assess them as incredibly astute, insightful and honest.

Conversely, when someone offers even a mild criticism of my work – regardless of whether it’s carefully considered, constructively couched and apologetically delivered – I bristle. My hackles rise and the taste of bile fills my throat. How dare they presume to criticise my sublime creation? Why would a person take the time to try and destroy my fragile artist’s ego with such an insane, inappropriate and unwarranted attack?

A surplus, a surfeit or even an extravagance of adjectives? The unruly insertion of adverbs? ‘Overuse’ of punctuation?!? Pretentious? Fragments? My god, why don’t you just take me out the back and stab me! Why must you drag my name through the mud like that? Are you so jealous of my towering talent that you have to resort to this petty carping? And so on etcetera.

But am I being reasonable when I react in this way? Should I just take my Dad’s advice on board? The truth is, as always, somewhere in the middle.

Take compliments, and yes, allow that little glow of self-satisfaction to creep over you. You’ve earned it. But assess them properly. For instance, when someone tells me that one or other of my books or stories is ‘well written’, I ask myself, ‘does that mean the story is crap? Or is Mum just being nice?’

Look for the hidden meaning (or the hidden agenda) in any praise – especially if it’s high praise. And if it’s truly justified, take it, but don’t dwell on it: it won’t make you a better writer.

And when people, particularly those not related to you, offer genuine criticism of your work, try not to take it personally, but do try and see what they’re saying from their perspective. Even if it seems harsh or unjustified when you first read it, there are more than likely a few large grains of truth in there. Use it to improve your work, but don’t let it ruin your day.

All authors have egos, and we’re all in this business because we like to have them stroked. But dealing with both good and bad feedback is a part of the business, so try and do it with equanimity. Then teach me how.